iPhone 5 Launch Temporized?

Now, most of my articles rattle off with a bitter skepticism, putter away to a degree of cynicism, and driven by intentions to put my readers in a trance-pensive state, I try to emboss the endings by disposing of all my berserk, and somewhat of blue-chip, arguments that I style out for their entertainment. Not today. Indeed, various sources have dabbed on this information, until it was billed and cooed by people as a valid claim. And yet a small proportion of people who have dug their hills in, runs afoul with this accomplished fact. And if there’s any liability of plausibility and justice in this world, these disagreers should move in together with sophists, the Grand Wizard, and George Romero in a Texas cage match. Then again, I need to renege on my disclaimer up there because I will prove to them why iPhone 5 will be temporized until 2012, and willfully guard my bastion of reasons. 

“Two is better than one” is somewhat of a throwaway howler, but nonetheless an endorsed tag line that has been spewed out of Apple’s advertising vent. (“Two are better than one” is a correct usage because the “two” is a byword for two carriers: Verizon, and AT&T) iPhone 4 went on sale on 24th of June 2010 under the auspice of AT&T. Three-score years later, its CDMA counterpart was released on 10th of February 2011 under Verizon. There’s about an 8 month hiatus amidst the two product launches. If Apple were to release the iPhone 5 June or July of this year, a chic product-cycle, Verizon customers would be fuming with wry, feeling they were exploited by built-in obsolescence; they bought their iPhones only 4 months prior to the launch. Then again, AT&T customers would be glowering at Apple and speak out with an expedited drawl like a throng of clods, sitting on top of backhoes, while jabbering to each other how the society is ruled by bluebloods and glitzy half-asses. Then, they would go back to their ramshackle cabins, pay visits to loan sharks and ask them for incidentals, big enough to buy Apple’s latest and greatest wastrel. I need to catch my breath here. 

Apple doesn’t want to be ironmongers. Neither does Apple want to sip a hemlock of capitulation, nor does it want to lose its unlettered customers, who mould their views and coagulate an utterance of gratification at everything Apple reeks off. Now, Apple is an unstinting company, and I don’t say this with a churlish manner. Its MacBook, iPod, and iPhone franchises have shown to be highly successful, and susceptible to warm approvals. Apple winnows out the best of the best, and its HQ at Cupertino does not leave a cubbyhole for failures that sag against the floor. In fact, Apple is so fetching. Its reputation is that of a reveler, a conduit of grace that its followers want to elope with. It envisions through the spectacles of a pallid, and furrowed, yet illustrious, visionary, and weaves away the corners of a paisley until it barges into the planks of pantheon, whereby the Pillars of Hercules stand stalwart to guard against minions of decrepit crooks until they chafe off. In a similar fashion, Apple is a patron of superlative touches, and skeptics of knavish outcomes. Given the fact that it dotes on the niceties and overhanging grandeur, Apple would not make things out of wigs in the backwoods. Subpoena me before the court, and buttonhole me to question this axiom I am possessed with. Evoke a hard-nosed barrister and sue me for what I think. Meanwhile I’d be resting on perches, and twiddling my thumbs because there is no lingering doubt in my mind that Apple is not a rustic fare on top of the table. It’s a pool of acute minds that know what they are doing. Apple might have hemmed and hawed with its iPhone 3GS. People inveighed against it, and labeled it as an unworthy upgrade, or rather an ungainly spinoff of its precursor. But this time around, Apple would not let that happen again. iPhone 5 would not be a rehash, but an apostate.

Let me shift my wayward tone once more. We are aware that Apple is not a waif at a pandemonium of some congested rebels. It frisks briskly and despite The Trend that muzzles corporations from acting out of their will, Apple creates that trend and savors it with the very sauce and flavor it uses to cook iPods, iPhones, and MacBooks. But when the King of Chefs is in no hurry, or of need to add the extra cherry on a frozen parfait, he waits. Right now, Apple’s iPhone is incontrovertibly the best phone in the market - that is out of earshot of greenhorn Android fanatics who neutralize anything meritorious, the plus, Apple musters up. Heck, iPhone 3GS is even-steven with 99% of the phones in the market. And that one percent is studded by iPhone 4. In short, Apple doesn’t need to be a prig and bill for another line of iPhone, because its precursors have not yet been exhumed as troglodyte skeletons, and their mojos have not worn off yet. 

Of course I cannot palm you off, as usual. My strident views and commentaries might sound like behests that Sam Cayhall objects to. But if you can’t bear the brunt of my bedraggled and bristling axes, treat yourself a book about causal determinism. There, you’d find 500 reasons how you have ended up reading the entire draft of my article, and the benefits of my foisting on you. Then, you find yourself divested of reasons and come to acknowledge my view. Once more, iPhone 5 will be temporized for 2012 on very valid grounds. 

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iPad 2: A Broken Verse?

To say the least, the March 7th announcement was a dispositive settlement of all those knavish rumors that embroidered the front covers of some uninformed tabloids. But the metaphysics have taken their course back to the tilt-a-whirl, working sound, in cahoots with somewhat of a realistic measure. Indeed, Apple pulled out the big gun like Barney Fife from the The Andy Griffith Show, and dismissed its previous retort back at a CNET reporter, to which Apple claimed that camera on a tablet is like inscribing a lilliputian perforation in a well-preserved Rosetta Stone. But then again, the heifer is back to the ridge, and hypocrisies reprise themselves like Nixon’s little taradiddles.

I’m not gonna lie, but as the provoking title of this ‘treatise,’ more felicitously a rant,  implies, the iPad 2 resembles a broken verse of sorts. I’d gladly lay up a warm-handed accolade to Mr. Jobs, had it been packed with more features, like a corpulent child on a hammock on a spree of gobbling a steamer-trunk size Sasquatch pizza. At the original iPad’s inquest, we see its ‘counterpart’ rehash the advantages, which run the gamut from aluminum chassis to lightweight enclosure, take a very leery effort in trying to retain that fleeting battery life, and rub up on the speed department, in which Apple claims the graphics performance improved by nine times, and the overall speed clock by two. Having said that, I’m a stringent gendarme. I have a slight inkling that something is missing, though I could be jumping on the bandwagon here. However, with my stevedore-likened mouth, I would like to ask why the iOS 5.0 announcement was temporized. At this point, I do reckon it’s an irreducible fact that 5.0 would be strikingly similar to the current firmware, for it has long been established an insidious fact that Apple would not change its contraptions and softwares on the score of simplicity. Then again, from a circumstantial standpoint, austerity has shied away from my palate. 

When the Big A’ gives you that come-hither look, beware of its hoodwink. When you the buyer is sauntering around the hinterland, flummoxed by how bland the Dixie-horticulture is, Steve Jobs along with Apple Execs would be sitting on the lap of luxury at Cupertino, afield from you, glazing over the fact how gullible you are. They feel the pulse of the public, like they were voting for Alvin Greene on a rigged voting machine. But if you have a liability to build a credence that the new iPad is the next Holy Grail, fine. Have at it, but I do not concur. I can reel off a long parchment of a modern-day Pharisees, but that drib-and-drab approach would be rendered obsolete once you, perched on a comfy mattress, gamboling around with your expensive gimmick, come to a conclusion that you’d be better off shopping at a haberdashery. And once more, you’d inhale the redolent whiff of insularity, like that moment when you decided to supplant your iPhone 3G with iPhone 3GS, just because the brand “Apple” has become your new pas de deux, and Steve Jobs is your head capos, covertly an Attila-like existence that’s trying to hack your cynical minds away.